What’s Going on With My 10th Grader?

The 10th grader can drive a car, work a job, and is getting dangerously close to adulthood.  Here is a look at what is going on inside the mind and heart of your 10th grader.


  • There is a heightened sensitivity to appearance and its social value.
  • Boys and girls have a propensity to diet.
  • Girls have developed physically into their adult bodies.
  • Boys have mostly developed into their adult bodies. There might be a little growth left.
  • Sexual desire is awakened, and the
    temptation to be sexually active is common.


The 10th grader may:

  • Have a desire for more control over aspects of their life
  • Test authority and question rules
  • Love to try new things in an effort to discover identity
  • Exhibit impulsive behavior with friends
    and peers
  • Not respond to adult lectures, feeling
    they know better what is going on than the adult does
  • Be more capable of taking care of others


  • Integrating both physical and emotional intimacy into relationships begins.
  • Friends that share beliefs, values, and interests are sought.
  • Less time may be spent with family, while more time may be spent with peers.
  • Peers influence them to try risky behaviors, such as experimenting with alcohol, tobacco, etc.
  • Competition with outside groups is
    preferred over competition with friends.
  • Relationships with parents become
    focused on a negotiation to get what
    they want.
  • There is a strong desire for conformity with peers.
  • Girls have a tendency to be interested in older boys.
  • Popular peers, adults, and celebrities are strong influences.


  • They can handle the responsibility of most service positions in the church.
  • They have a greater interest in serving others and in making a difference in the world.
  • There is more planning and preparation for the future.
  • They have a greater ability to identify right and wrong.
  • Role models are developed that inspire them either toward or away from faith.
  • Their capacity for self-discipline increases.
  • Summer camps and mission experiences influence them spiritually because of the peer connections that those events create.
  • They begin to imagine what life would be like as an adult away from their parents, and they begin deciding whether or not their faith will be a part of that.
  • There is a temptation to “have their fun now” and be responsible later.